Addict's Lullaby: Beauty From Ashes

A Thief, A Whore, And A Liar

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A Thief, A Whore, And A Liar

Good friends are hard to find.... mine are hard to lose

Confessions of a Lesbian Ducky

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The Night I'll Never Forget : Summer 2003
So my friend Terri has me over her house just to hang out and stuff. We first walked from her houset to the cementary, and on the way our friends Audrey and Brandon stoped in their imaginary car at the drive through of Mickey D's. Terri's little brother Charlie, Audrey, Brandon, Terri and me walked to the cementary then to go see Audrey's friend who wasn't home. We walked back on Rt 40 , Brian (this guy Terri just met and likes) called so Terri invited them over. He brought his friend Brent over too. They came over to hang out. Audrey kept asking them all these personal sexual questions and we played truth or dare. After truth or dare Brent made up this stroy about lesbian zebras using strap ons. Brandon added to the already dumb story be sayings the zebras ship had a flat tire. Brent and Brian leave but say they'll come back later. Terri's mom is very upset that she invited more guys to the house when Brandon was already spending the night. We play more truth or dare. One of the dares was Audrey flashing everyone. I must say she does have perfectly round boobs.(Terri told me to write this :X ) Anyway Charlie had to touch her breast , which he says felt nice. Brent and Brian come back , but Brent is drunk. He and Brandon star drinking but fight over the cup. So Brandon pulls out Terri's older brother's bebe gun and Brent belives it to be a real gun. So they wrestle till Brent gets the gun and starts screaming " You motherfucker, don't you ever pull another fucking gun on me again" We can't help but laugh Brent is the only one who doesn't know it's not real. We are all outside having a good time till the cops roll by asking us to be quiet. so we go inside till the guys have to leave. At about 2am Charlie is talking to this "lesbian" who thinks she's talking to Terri. They want to meet up. Terri lets us tag along to go to the board walk. This car pulls up and htis guy ask us are we going to the boardwalk. He's the "lesbian" Terri later says she would fuck him the next time he comes to HDG. We stay up talkin to the guy till at least 5:30 , he drops us at Terris. Terri's mom has been waiting up for us and is pissed she was gone to long. we decide no more going out that morning. Besides the cops shutting the party down and Terri's mom gettin worried, and the lesbian turning out to be a guy and us getting no sleep. It was a banging party. Can't wait till next time
 
Kinky Ducky story at bloodthirstybunnies.tripod.com 
 
October 17th 2003
 
So I of corse couldn't pass up a chance to go to Terri's again and have a good time. So Terri's mom didn't tell mine about guys comming to the party. There was only to be a couple girls. So I get at Terri's at like 8:45 or so and the guys are suppose to arrive at 9. Well while we wait for the guys Terri, Audrey and I go out and battle in the street with a wooden sword and a metal pole. Terri kept hitting me in the head. We litteraly had a cat fight. We wore cat ears we got a few weeks back at the mall. I still won most of the battles against both her and Audrey.
It's 9 something and the guys still aren't there yet, so Terri calls Brent and Brian on the phone, they tell her they are on their way. Me and Audrey put on Yellow Card and are listening to it when Brent, Brian, and their friends Larry and Kevin get here. The new guys are cool. So we talk for a while then Brent and Audrey go outside to talk. We go after like ten minutes later. They are talking(what a pity no action)Brian has to check in at Brent's house so Brent, Kevin and Brian go off to go back to his house leaving Larry with us. He's pretty cool.
1. Likes Anime (+1)
2. Doesn't like Good Charlotte (-1)
3. Likes black people (+1 & -1)
Anyway Mike (Oof) Terri's friend whose suppose to bring the alcohol is at the pizza joint by her house. We all walk around to go get him. He and his friend Devin follow us back to the house.
At the house we find out Oof and Devin bought 2 cases of Bud Ice, peperment snops, this whine stuff, and Jack Daniels. We have to sneak it past Terri's mom. When we get up stairs I get frist dibbs on the wine cuz i hate beer. I drink a litle and refuse to give it back. Ok i did give everyone else a taste, but i drank more than half. Then i get my hands on the snopps. By this time the light is bothering me. We play Bullshit till the others get back. When they get back i'm like laying on the couch and Terri tells me to move so her and Brian can sit down. We talk for awhile. By this time Audrey has had 3 beers amd is getting tipsy. We go outside and talk but Audrey is in bad shape. She can hardly stand up and is leaning on Larry.
We talk some more and Audrey has to go to the bathroom so she goes in Brent takes her upstairs to Terri's room with me and Larry following. In Terri's room Audrey is all over poor Brent and telling him how much she loves him, kissing him, all but asking for sex. I turn the damn light off cuz my head hurts like hell. The rest of them come in cuz Devin's got to leave. Taking the snopps:( Alright Terri's mom finally notices that Audrey is wasted tells theguys to leave or have them arrasted. We all go out to the truck to tell the guys goodbye. Terri kisses Brian, I gave Larry my # but we tried to pursade them not to leave. they agree to go the back yard with us. Audrey has to piss for the 100th time that night. Pulls her pants down and does it in a bush. She's tipsy she falls into the thorn bush. I help her up and fall myself. The guys have to go and we say goodbye.
Oof is still here drinking a beer and Audrey is worse. She's all over him telling him how much she loves Brent. He keeps telling her how much she loves Brent and he's not Brent. Devin's comming back for Oof and i take Audrey back upstairs give her some coffee and bread so she can sobber up. I lay on the couch and Audrey comes and (terri tells me this later)takes off her and has me laying on her breast. She wants oral sex and keeps asking me and Terri for it. We leave this weird message on Brent's answer service. I pass out.
In the morning i feel so sick but eat pizza for breakfast. Terri is telling us what we missed. Me and Audrey passed out on the couch but after she tries to rape me in my sleep. We tell Audrey she gave Brent her virginity(Audrey wants to save it till marrage) She freaks out. We start cracking up at her reaction and tell her the truth. We paln to do this all again next month except more liquor, boys and sex.
Peace

Nov 2004

Let's be honest and say whats really on our minds. Me and Tiger are lesbian lovers. And that's the end of this story for this party. We had lesbian sex all fucking night and brining each other to better heights than regular hetrosex. We meet this barbie doll last night she was covered in wipped cream and Tiger licked it off her. We were cuddling in the back of this dude's car cause it was sooo fucking cold at pier. Barbie was sucking this guy rob's face off. Rob is this guy she met last night. Tiger was all over me trying to rape my poor innocent bi body. So Moon Tiger's frined was soo left out cause she was the only non bi person there. She's in love with Brent. Speaking of Brent and Big fat blubbering Vagina they were all over each other last night making BFBV look more of a gay pussy. Let's get back to last night we didn't get back till at least 5:00. Ok thats it.

Bye

Jan 2005

The first question what is my sexuallity? Marcus said questionable. Very funny. most people know already, my dirty little secret or know about me teari mona, jen making out in the back of brent's turck in the winter. So what the problem. Well my parents are so against gay marriages.(Me so for it) so if they found out i'd never see teari ever again. i guess i'm kinda screwed here ain't i.

May 2005

SO THIS IS WHATS UP LATELY NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT (EXCEPT MINE AND MY BF)

1. ON FRI ME ,PINKY DUCKY, KINKY DUCKY AND LESBIAN DUCKY QUEEN WERE HANGING OUT AGAINST THE WILL OF KINIKY DUCKY'S MOM. WE WERE JUST BEING LESBIAN DUCKYS FLASHING CARS, HAVING ORGAISM CONTESTS, PUTTING THINGS THAT ARE WHITE IN OUR MOUTHS, AND HUMPING TREES. ME AND LDQUEEN LEARNED A NEW CHANT FOR LESBIANS.

2. LDQUEEN DECIDES TO THROW A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR ME AND INVITES A FEW PEOPLE OVER. I HAD TO GET MY BROTHER'S GIRLFRIEND TO DROP ME OFF AT FLAGSHIP CINNEMAS AND WAITE TILL SHE LEFT SO ME A LDQUEEN CHOULD GO TO THE MALL. CHAD CALLS MY CELL AND TELLS US HES COMMING TO THE MOVIES. HE GET'S THERE AND WAS TELING US HE WAS GETTING CHASED BY THE COPS. WE WAIT FOR AWHILE AND WE GO TO THE MALL. LDQUEEN ISN'T A BAD DRIVE I MUST ADD. SO WE GET TO THE MALL GO TO SPENCERS, CLAIRES CHAD TRIED ON SOME HATS. HE LOOKED SO GAY. WE WENT BACK TO SPENCERS AND I BRUOGHT A WALLET. ANYWAY WE HAVE TO GET BACK CUZ LDQUEEN'S MOM HAS TO GO TO WORK AND SHE HAS TO WATCHED THE KIDS. MY DAD CALLS WAINTING TO KNOW WHEN I WAS GOING TO HAVE "STEPH'S MOM (PLAYED BY SUCKY DUCKY) CALL THEM. LDQUEEN'S MOM DOESN'T KNOW WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A PARTY SO ME AND CHAD DRIVE OFF AND WAIT FOR LDQUEEN TO CALL. SHE CALLS" ALL ENGINES ARE GO"

3.ME AND CHAD GET BACK AND ARE SO BORED. LDQUEEN CALLS ALL THESE PEOPLE AND THEY'RE NOT COMMING. WE CALL MOANY DUCKY WHO WAS SUPPOSE TO PLAY STEP'S MOM. WE PRESUADE SUCKY DUCKY TO DO IT. I GET TO STAY. BLAH BLAH ME AND CHAD MAKE OUT. GO GET MATT. GO TO SLEEP IN CHAD'S ARMS. WAKE UP. GO TAKE MATT HOME AND MAKE OUT SOMEMORE.

4. FINALLY CHAD LEAVES AT 6:00AM AFTER IT TOOK ME 30MINS TOI GET HIM OFF ME AND STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF!(HE WANTED TO HAVE SEX THAT BAD LAST NIGHT)

5. I GO BACK TO SLEEP THEN LDQUEEN CALLS MARKER. HE COMES OVER. WE GO PLAY TENNIS AND RUN TRACK AT HdG HS. WE GET BACK TO LDQUEEN'S HOUSE AND HER MOM YELLS AT US AND TELLS ME AND MARKER TO GET OUT. MARKER TAKES ME HOME AND I SIT HERE TYPING.

WHAT YOU THINK WAS MY PARTY FUN OR WHAT?

July 2005

So friday me and Teari were hanging out and we get this call from barbie jen telling us shes having her sweet 16 party that nite. we decide to go but we have to drop teari's mom at the hospital. we stop off at my house to pick up a few things. we dive on over to Abingdon and we go to jen's. nothing much is going on at that time, we all get invited to this party at this guy greg's apt, if there's drinkin me and teari will be there. b4 i want 2 go i want to go change out of  a skirt, i black mail teari into taking me back 2 my house. i have to sneak around becuz i dont want my noisy nieghbors calling da cops. (my parents arent home) so i hurry and get on a tank top and my lucky jeans(the ones that make me feel skiny). so i go outside 2 where she parked the car she tells me chad just called her and is on his way there. i get in and smoke a cigarette. he gets there and hugs us both. i have to get out of the area in fear that someone will she me. he follows us to carol ave. we talk for a while and ask do he want 2 go to a party. he wants to go and we have to follow him to hdg to give his mother her car. we follow till teari doesn't notice his turn. we get back with him. he goes in comes back out with his mother introduces us (he changes my name of corse (ashamed?)) we get going to abingdon bryan calls teari back telling her to come pick him up cuz he'll go also. so we use the back road from 7 to 22. we go to bryans house on 155 and wait for him 2 come home (he called her on his way home).

i have 2 get in the back with chad. we drive off , me and chad started talking about what went wrong, how he never meant to hurt me and shit like that.anyway chad is being a big ass hole yelling out the windows, screaming random shit, and sticking his body out the damn window. we have to go get gas we stop. not important what happened there. at jens we have 2 be quiet cuz the baby is asleep. we go up in her room. her boyfirend goes with us. she changes out of her 2 piece into sweats and a shirt. we all talking cracking jokes, jen is conviced i had this big ass crush on her which i never had, i let her believe what she wants. chad keeps tickling me and teari bites bryans arms. so he bites her neck and leves this big ass bite mark. we decide to leave to take bryan home. we take him home and chads all stretched out in the back seat, resting his head on my breasts. he asked me if i'll go 2 his and rachels wedding (turn off 1) i say yes. minutes later im trying to think and keeps trying to get my attention by staring at me. i lean in close to hear what he has to say. he tells me he still has feelings for me, but not as much as rachel (turn off 2) we get bryan home and go back to teari's. we hang out in her car. im hungry so is chad so we go to royal farms and get something to eat. were back in the car chad looks at his sandwhich and has to go back in cause its not made right. i agree wit tear if he does something stupid we should leave him. we go back to the house after chad gets back in. he eats that nasty ass sandwhich. hes taking to her i get out the car 4 another cigarette. get back in hes telling her to get an abortion.(turn off 3) im laying in the back seat. he's bothering me again. trying to write a message on my back. iplay dumb as if i don't understand "do you want to have sex" and "do you still love me" fustrated he tries to lets say fondle me through me clothes . i keep moving away.

we decide tp go throw pebbles at peoples houses to waKE them up. we go to that park next to Home Depot to get rocks.  chad is all on me when teari get out and is so trying to turn me on so i will have sex with him. he promises he won't hurt me again. im thinking to myself if its good maybe i can still him back from his fiance rachel like she stole him from me. (turn off 4) we go riding around aberdeen chad is hiting peoples cars and houses with rocks. im getting a bad feeling. we go to the traller park where mike leaves (tearis ex) and go trhowing rocks there. chad notices that im upset about the idea ans wants to go to the playground in north deen. we go to the playgorund he pulls me under the set and sits me on his lap. he tells me we can be friends with benifits cuz he loves rachel so fucking much. he asks me not to tell rachel he sais he still loves me. im not as mean as i want to be. i knew he was gonna make me cry. all he had to do was kiss me and tell me he still loved me. fucking up everything i had worked on trying to be friends and moving on. the bad part is we didn't do anything except kiss and i feel so fucking gulity.i tell him i won't do what he did to me with rachel to her. i won't let him cheat on her. i go to the car and cry myslef to sleep. we take him home around sunlight. i don't look at him i stare out at the road. teari takes me back to my grandmas and i go to crying myself 2 sleep again. going to work feeling like shit. again 2day i will go 2 work feeling like shit. i fucked up pretty bad!

Oct 2005

  • Teari is such a whore! i never thought id say it but a fucking slut. she abandoned me to go fuck her ex. whatever. it seems a guy is more than a friendship so all i have to say is she can go to hell. alot of my friends agree that was a real triffling thing to do. first you make plans then go and say later you want to go to another place so you can get a quick fuck. what makes it really bad is i call her on her cell to find out who left this stupid ass message on my phone. guess what its my ex who shes hanging out with. oh man was i pissed. then she tells me she's not only hanging with him but his back stabbing girl friend. teari and rachel are the perfect pair. two back stabbing bitches. even better i get a call from tearis phone last night i was gonna let it ring but i answered only to hear chad and hang that bitch so fast i hope his head was spinning.

  • rap up:

  1. Tearis a bitch no longer friends

  2. chad is still his asshole self

  3. im completely done with all of them (chad, rachel, teari, oof)

  4. im going to quit my job cuz i can't stand to look, talk to, or be near Teresa Kahl

  5. i hope they all die!

Love Jackie

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our lives meant nothing; we were sinners,whores, alcoholics, love addicts. some nights we were prositutes, selling our hearts on the open market...we turned good girls into siners, bad boys into lovers, and ourselves from abused little girls into broken women
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